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May. 30th, 2008 @ 03:20 am (no subject)
I feel as if my world is coming down around me....
all I have left are my tears and empty words.
I feel empty... unsure.. lost... alone..

hundreds of miles away from my past which was once solid and though
was in ruin held a concrete future.

Since those days I've realized that nothing is concrete, no friendship, no relationship, no job, no love, no happiness. Nothing is written in stone, our beliefs, our emotions, even ourselves change.

For once... I felt as though I had a future I could depend on... a future that before I thought would not fade or change.

That's all gone now...

My whole life has been a system and victim of change... scarcely for the better.
I'm tired, I'm worn, I'm tired of confrontations and doubts.
I'm tired of hate and love all at the same time.
I'm exhausted from trying to find the floor in which to ground myself....

So I guess this is me giving up..
and why not?

Who would notice?

And if someone were to notice.... who's to say they wouldn't become accustomed to it.. and forget about me?
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May. 6th, 2008 @ 01:39 am YAY!
Current Location: Currently placed next to Vince on the front porch of my home
Current Mood: SUPER DUPER ECSTATIC!!!
Current Music: Bye Bye Miss American Pie......... don't laugh....
I HAVE AN AMAZING BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AND YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

LOSSSSSSSSSSSERSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


SUCK MY METAPHORICAL BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Mar. 31st, 2008 @ 07:51 am A dangerous sleep schedule.
Current Location: I still refuse to adhere to your demand of my location.
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Blue October - Calling You
Well, I fell asleep around 3pm yesterday and awoke at 3am this morning. Hopefully I'll finally get to bed at a decent hour tonight and wake up at an equally decent hour the next morning.

Some good news though, I finally get my damn braces off today! In a couple hours actually.
Quite excited about the freedom of my teeth. I think I might be smiling more often because of it.
Huzzah!

After the removal of my braces I'll have to be calling Times Printing, to see what's going on with that damn job position. Gawd.

In other news, I recently found that my profile bio is awfully outdated. Due to the fact that I am no longer in high school, and am not currently living in the suburban ghetto any longer.
So I'll have to get on that.

I could have easily changed it when I discovered the problem, but that would have been to easy.
No, no, no, instead I left it alone. Was I busy? Nope. Would it have taken long? Not at all.
And so the dimensions of Randi become even more complex.... (actually not really, but it's fun to think so).

I really don't think there's a point to this entry. Then again there isn't a point to any of my entries. I suppose I like to pretend that I'm some sort of celebrity that has to update her many admirers, or perhaps my mind has too much junk and this is my way of getting rid of it all.

With all that said, I must go back to painting.
Hope you all have a fantastically interesting day.

*bows*
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Mar. 30th, 2008 @ 08:31 am A half awake update with cereal.
Current Location: Must you absolutely know?
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: My dad huffing and puffing as he walks from the kitchen to the living room.
G'day to all whom no longer read this blog.

It's around 8:30 AM, you may be thinking "My, Randi sure is up early."
Well your thoughts are wrong and I curse you for that.
You see, I'm not up early, I'm up late.
Well... to me I'm up late.
I haven't actually gone to bed yet.
When I do retire to sleep it'll be around 12 AM so then it'll be really really late.

Mmmmm Corn Flakes and banana slices melt my troubles away. At least until after I swallow that last drop of milk.

*eats like she hasn't eaten in weeks*

That was AMAZING! It was simply friggen ORGASMIC!


Uh ohs.... I can hear my dad in the background ranting. He hasn't had the best week. I think it's best if I spend the day acting as a ninja, no no, not by slaughtering people. By being invisible.
Then again I'm invisible most days.
It's not all too fun. Then again, on days like these it's, well, it's a life saver.
I no longer feel like rambling. So I think I'll go back to doing absolutely nothing..... or maybe I'll change my clothes....
but after changing my clothes I'll go back to doing nothing. Then again... if I'm doing nothing, isn't that still something? I mean... you're never really doing nothing. You're always doing something. The next time someone asks me what I'm doing. I think I'll respond with "breathing" instead of "nothing".
Better yet, I'll respond with "circulating blood through my veins and arteries" or perhaps I'll say "digesting the meal I had a few hours ago".
Those seem more interesting than "nothing".

Thus ends my rambling for the moment.

*bows*
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Mar. 15th, 2008 @ 12:46 am (no subject)
Current Mood: half tired, half hyper
Current Music: K-ris talking..and breathing weird
sup???? suckas................
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Feb. 15th, 2008 @ 05:01 am Up Late and Bouncy.
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Supertramp - Logical Song
Well well well......


Wisconsin hasn't gotten any more interesting, only my insanity.



All I really have to do most days, until I start working is this laptop, which for today er... yesterday (V-Day) was my Valentine.
You may be laughing at that, but it's true. We spent all day together, it sang to me, and I stared deeply into it's .....screen. I couldn't keep my hands off it. My fingers constantly pressing it's "buttons".

So we didn't go to a restaurant, and it didn't buy me chocolates.
I guess you could say we decided to stay in.


Some may think that's pathetic, but I find it absolutely hilarious, because oddly, I was absolutely with spending this day alone.

My......how I've grown.

Well, I'm off to bed, and no, my laptop will not be joining me. After all, we only met a couple weeks ago.
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Jan. 19th, 2008 @ 11:36 pm Boredom Takes Over
Current Location: living room? what kind of question is that?!
Current Mood: so very blah
Current Music: the stupid radio...
So bored.........Grah.........



So yeah, apparently I'm growing up. Wow. Fun.
I've been handling a lot of things differently.
Currently feel detached from society.
I suppose it's just something I'll have to deal with in order to get my life together.
GUH!
This is a fustrating day, Dad was drunk earlier....not sure but I think he called me a "bitch".
No clue what for, but you know, he was drunk.....whatever, I'll only have to put up with it for a year.
Just long enough to get money together, then I'll be back in Florida.
I don't know if there's a point to this entry.
I think I've lost my touch.
Yeah.......
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Jan. 19th, 2008 @ 11:35 pm (no subject)
Well.....

I'm not quite sure if people even use livejournal anymore, most have upgraded to Myspace.
I don't write much on myspace.
I really don't think anyone does.

Well, maybe I'll get back into the routine of writing in this.

Years have passed and I suppose I've changed a bit....then again my life has too.

Or has it?
I mean nothing really changes, only the people and the setting.
We cycle through.
Now don't get me wrong I'm still friends with those that have been there for the solid strange 4 or 5 years that I've known them.
Well can't say they've been solid......
Lose of internet and phone...
Moving......
Doesn't exactly help keep friendships intact.
I suppose that's the real test.
Time.
Hmmmmm...
Guys in my opinion haven't gotten any less confusing.
It's not a subject that's become easier over the years.
Currently in Wisconsin *bows head*
AH! But I'll be back in Florida in a year, and living in Riverside....
Double w00t

What is there to say? Currently the only heat source in my house is the oven, that's right, heating the house with the oven. Take that! You think you're poor.....hahahaha I laugh in your face...
wait....
well.....not sure what else to say..
I guess I could clean up my house a bit before my dad gets home...
not much to clean..
I could sweep...
but then again how much dust could've collected since yesterday?



that's not a good thing....




(actually written 2 days ago, computer malfunction)
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Mar. 13th, 2007 @ 01:48 am (no subject)
Current Mood: disappointed
I don't think anyone I know actually has this anymore, so anyway, Hi......and yes I'm still alive.


Give me a call, or leave a message sometime.

The Great Randini
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Aug. 15th, 2006 @ 09:28 am (no subject)
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: The Clash, Hateful
Alright, so I really don't ever write in this, that is a fact. Found a job, thought it was going to be great, turns out it was the biggest mother fucking mistake of my life...
I hate this job with a passion......no not the job, the place that I work at, the people, what they stand for. Just how fucking stupid people can be... I wish I could give more details but I rather not.
I live downtown, soon moving away from downtown, for a while I'll be out of the scene, not that I've really been in it for some time... but that's quite alright, you never know with me. Sometimes I just happen to show up or something....
Anyway its really fucking late and I have to get some rest....I'm going to need it so I can deal with bull shit for just one more week..
aaahh sweet sweet freedom....


...The Great Randini
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Jan. 30th, 2006 @ 12:22 am Been a long time
Current Mood: giddy
Current Music: The Darkness - I believe in a thing called love
Hey guys, it's been a long time. I'm still living in the same apartment but for those of you who don't know, since october my mom and brothers have moved out in exchange for Neil and Justin. In April the lease is up so the three of us are moving to the south side, most likely southside blvd. So all is pretty well finished sgt. pepper earlier this month. I have to get a GED because Duval county screwed up any chance I had of getting a diploma. Going to FCCJ in the fall and soon I will be driving. That means I can visit everyone that hasn't forgotten about me yet.
I miss friends.....and people for that matter. It gets pretty dull being cooped up in an apartment by myself from 7 am - 5:30 pm.
And would you believe it...I am actually quiet during those hours......
But that will all be changing soon (the being alone and bored all day part)
Anyway I thought that everyone might like an update from me... and if I actually get a few comments I might just keep posting shit on here.
The contained Randi
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Oct. 7th, 2005 @ 04:18 am Hm.
Current Mood: rushed
Current Music: The Beatles - Penny Lane
So yes, I haven't written in here in forever. Because I have another account, Myspace. Then again I don't do much there either.
My boyfriend, Neil, and his friend Justin are writing a musical based off of The Beatles' album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Its very well written. I am the Stage Manager for the play, and I did the dance audition yesterday. Oh did I dance my little legs off. Tuesday is the singing and acting audition. .........Oh damn ! I fell asleep...I started writing this last night.
Damn, anyway michelle's spending the night, and now I must hurry and clean because I have overslept.
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Sep. 12th, 2005 @ 03:00 am A dose of art and a dash of intellect
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Theme Music For THE TWIGHLIGHT ZONE
Congratulations, Randi!
Your IQ score is 124

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thats good right? Neat.
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Jul. 5th, 2005 @ 01:26 am One Hell of a Weekend
Current Mood: curious
Current Music: Tool - Cold and Ugly
So......this weekend was interesting.
I hung out at my friend justin's place along with neil, mark, jon and mike.
It's all sort of a blur, except for a few very interesting encounters, which I will not name.
lets see...I crashed over there Fri. night Sat. night, sunday I was over there till 5:30 am.
But before I left I had one of my many asthma attacks, and this one really scared me. I couldn't breath what so ever. My throat closed up and my chest hurt so fuckin' bad...
I practically passed out from lack of oxygen. But I'm ok now, probally going to quit smoking, that'd help.

Ok, so I think I'm going to drink the rest of the bourbon I have left before I go to sleep.
I entered all of my school work in time, and was exempted from the $301.00.
Michelle's going to spend the night Fri. and we'll be going to east port tavern to do some kareoke (did you know that 'kareoke' means 'tone deaf' in japanese?)
So yay, a night of avoiding drunk bikers, and chatting with some very interesting - not to mention - deranged people.

*sighs*.......
I need to go build something.......I don't know....
I'll probally end up going for a quick run, its a nice night, warm air and some very delightful memories of the weekend.

That's all for now, time to go download birthday massacre and all my faith lost. =D
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Jun. 29th, 2005 @ 01:54 am (no subject)
Current Mood: determined
Current Music: mad world - gary jules
Ok, so I figured that I should post something in this bitch....seeing as how it usually helps....

Um, life with Neil is great, I'm happier than I've ever been, and we are going on our 8th month together...(longest relationship I've been in, and I'm phizzyched - psyched)
Life without money sucks, and vice versa....
I may not beable to finish this school year (school work is due by thursday) and I can't get into my school account to do the rest of the work (my exams) because my mom didn't make a payment on the school work ($301.00) also, my mom is only going to be getting $700 tommorow (today) from her paycheck.....rent is due on thursday also......rent is $810.....and we are getting $300 from my mom's new boyfriend who owes us money......my mom gave me crap because that money was supposed to buy food for us this week....and now its going to my school work.......I hope everything gets in order .....
I refuse to end up like my father! I REFUSE !!!!
AND IT'S ALL HIS FUCKIN FAULT !!!!! he doesn't even have a job yet....we aren't getting any money, and if he wasn't a lazy ass hole of a father then we wouldn't be in this fucking mess !!! but wait! if I was my older sister then he would have a job by now !!!!!!



But yeah......I've been keeping my cool and masking my anger with jokes - what I do best..
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Jun. 13th, 2005 @ 11:21 pm PASS IT ON !!!!!!
Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: Nothingness
<http://www.passthepotato.com/potato.php?potatoid=050613231519-807257>
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Jun. 10th, 2005 @ 02:44 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: blah
Fuck......no one cares, and why should they?
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Jun. 9th, 2005 @ 03:10 am (no subject)
Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: American Pie......the song I sing and cry to
I hate this month.....
I always have...
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Jun. 7th, 2005 @ 03:14 am This month sucks
Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: The silent sobbing of me
Ok, so today my brother almost died....he was trapt under some sand at the beach, I wasn't there, he was with his friend and his friend's mom....they were digging tunnels and matt (my brother) went in to dig farther..the walls collapsed on top of him. He couldn't breathe or even wiggle his way out so help came and he was pulled out, he was unconcious for 5 minutes, the paremedics gave him oxygen. Matt was coughing up sand a lot. So he came home he's ok now....but it was scary....
the fire dep. called looking for my mom, they said they had my brother, and that he was trapped under some sand, I asked if he was ok, they said yes, but still, it was scary.....
It still is, later I started to think, ya know? I've already lost my father, I mean my dad's still alive, but not to the affect where its noticable to me, he lives in wisconsin now, and only calls my brothers. I lost one of my best friends last year....it'll be a complete year on the 12th.....so I thought about what I would do if my brother had died today......I don't think I'd be typing this right now....or breathing....I don't know, I'm not saying that I would kill myself, but I sure as hell know that my heart wouldn't be able to take any more.
But I have a feeling something horrible is going to happen....
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May. 28th, 2005 @ 04:02 pm yay ! sleeping beauty....ow....braces...
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Watching Silence of the Lambs *erie music plays*
You scored as Sleeping Beauty. Your alter ego is Princess Aurora, a.k.a. Sleeping Beauty! You are beautiful and enchanting, and as sweet as ever.

</td>

Sleeping Beauty

81%

Goofy

75%

Cinderella

75%

Peter Pan

75%

Ariel

63%

The Beast

56%

Pinocchio

31%

Snow White

25%

Cruella De Ville

25%

Donald Duck

19%

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com



yay ! I have stuff for my scrap books it's awesome !!!!!!!


ok, on another note.....
I got braces on the 25th.....
only on the top though, the braces don't hurt, but my teeth do. I can't eat anything hard.....I can't even eat salad, so I have to stick with mashed potataos, soup, and pudding.
So yeah........me......braces......weird.....
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